Paralyzed
by wiggygirl3
Summary: "But then again, I had always been a sucker for blonde hair." Takes place directly after the ending of "Big Time Rocker". Kendall/Lucy, maybe some Logamille or Jamille. Some cursing now, so rated 'T' just in case. First one to post a Kendall/Lucy fanfic!
1. Girl Talk, Part One

**Authors Note: YESH! I AM THE FIRST FANFICTION AUTHOR TO WRITE ABOUT LUCY STONE! Yeah, so I saw the new Big Time Rush and couldn't help but notice how Lucy seemed to act around Kendall. And me, being a fanfiction author, couldn't help but get some very nice ideas from it…so here's the story that I started writing a half an hour after the show ended. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Also, I couldn't remember the name of Camille's character, so I just made up some name that I thought would sound cool if you said it in a Russian accent ;) I'll change it once i find out the real name, or one of you guys can tell me in a review!**

"Another beautiful day in L.A." Kendall sprawled out on the lounge chair beside me, shades on, putting his arms behind his head.

"Another _rockin'_ day in L.A." I replied, smirking and popping on my own shades, pushing back the strands of black and red hair out of my face. I closed my eyes and heard-amidst the usual background noise of the teenage cacophony that was the famous Palm Woods-the members of Big Time Rush (plus Camille, but I had already figured out that she, like me, had always been one of the guys) shuffle into chairs and loungers around us.

"It's so great to be _friends_ with you." James said.

"Yeah, _being in the friend zone_ with Lucy Stone is awesome." Carlos chirped in, and I smiled deviously. Though I couldn't take all the credit for tricking James and Carlos-they should be awarded, I mean, seriously, they were INCREDIBLY gullible-plotting is just one of my things.

"I guess plotting is just one of your things." Camille laughed.

Cha. Yeah.

"Speaking of plotting," Kendall began, and I opened my eyes and looked at him as he turned to grin at Camille and Logan, "I can't believe you guys actually pulled it off."

"Yeah, well, technically Marta Star pulled it off." Camille's voice suddenly got cold-VERY cold. As if she never wanted to talk about her awesome ploy ever again. I wondered why…maybe I could have a little girl-to-girl chat with her later. I knew she would need some, since she was the only girl in the little group.

There was a short, awkward silence before some gangly guy with long hair and enormous shades invited us to some pool volleyball, which Camille and I politely declined. We talked and laughed about nothing in particular, watching the boys splash around in the pool. I couldn't help but silently analyze each boy (like anyone would do, meeting someone for the first time), from his movements to his hair to his facial expressions to his abs (hey, you can't blame a girl for looking).

And I couldn't help the fact that my eyes rested particularly long on a certain head of blonde hair.

But then again, I had always been a sucker for blonde hair.

* * *

><p>Somehow Camille and I had managed to escape back to my apartment without the boys…though, I had to admit, the room was actually pretty comfortable with only two people. Plus she graciously offered to help me clean up the mess that we had made earlier.<p>

"So….what's the deal with your scheme?" I asked a little cautiously, trying to pick up all the little pieces of popcorn on the floor (I hadn't had the time nor the money to invest in a vacuum yet).

There was a pause before Camille answered "What do you mean?" Though it was as plain as the Manspray in James's hair that her voice had changed tone.

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" I asked, sitting on the couch, giving up on the popcorn. Camille was fiddling with the lamp that she had turned right side up. When she hesitated, I prodded more. "C'mon, I know that it might be personal, but I haven't had a girl friend in a long time, and I really want one. You can only get close to someone by sharing secrets." I added in a sing-song voice, hoping that I wasn't being too rude…but not caring enough not to ask.

She sighed, smiling a little, and sat down beside me on the couch. "It's a little complicated."

I smiled back, to show that I was listening.

"Well, I actually did the robbery, and the 'arrest', while I was being Marta Star, secret agent, this character for this new movie that I'm in."

"You were…. _being_ Marta Star?" I questioned slowly.

She grinned widely. "I can get really into my parts."

I forced a grin back. "And I'm sure that makes you an even better actress…but please go on." I really didn't need to get THAT close to Camille this soon.

"Anyway, Logan was all over me while I was playing that role…but he obviously didn't care about me at all when I was just normal Camille."

"Right. _Normal_ Camille." I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"Sorry, I coughed…tickle in the throat. So you think Logan took advantage of you?"

"Yeah, pretty much." She flung herself back so she was in a resting position on the couch. "I mean, I like Logan SO MUCH…but if he doesn't care about me…I can't just settle for an 'okay' relationship. That would be wrong. Right?"

"Right." I stated firmly. Honestly, I was very VERY glad that Logan had no interest in me whatsoever. Not that I wanted a guy to trample all over me (not that he ever could), Logan was nerdy and had no backbone. Though some girls find that cute, I find it….well, JUST cute. Not hot or sexy or rockin'. I tried it once, hated it, never going back. "You should always be completely happy in a relationship. That's why most of mine ended within a week." I laughed.

"Oh, so you get around?" Camille teased.

"No, I'm just picky. Still waiting for my rocker boy to show up." _At least, I think I still am. _

"Alright, your turn to share something personal."

I frowned. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"But the only way to get closer to someone is to share secrets. C'mon, I need a good girl chat with a girl friend."

My frown morphed into a slick smile. "Using my words against me. I knew I liked you." I looked down, my expression turning serious. "Uhm, let's see…my last relationship seems like a good place to start. Well, basically I dated this blonde douche bag most of my senior year, then he left me in the last month of high school for some whore named Nicole. I took the chance to get away and moved here."

When I looked back at Camille, her face bore sympathy, but not pity. Which was good. I HATED when people pitied me. I was not so weak as to accept pity. "Good for you." She stated, patting my knee. "And now you get to meet all the douge bags here in L.A. Should be fun."

I laughed, thinking again how I knew I liked Camille.


	2. Girl Talk, Part Two

**Please keep the reviews coming! Please enjoy =D**

We had already killed about an hour…and my apartment was still a mess. But it really didn't matter-this was the first girl talk I'd had in a long, long time. We'd been asking each other personal questions for the past who KNOWS how long, but it wasn't awkward…it was really cool. There aren't too many girls out there who would put their complete trust in you so quickly. There aren't a lot of girls out there I'D put MY trust in so quickly, but I knew Camille was completely reliable.

After hearing about Camille's awkward first scripted kiss, it was my turn again. "Alright." Camille began questioning once more. "I know that you say that you have no interest in the guys…but what do you really think of them?"

"So you're asking which one I like."

Camille shrugged and tried to play it cool. "Well, you know, if that happens to fit with the question."

I smiled. "Well, I personally don't like Logan at all… but I'm sure I'll be fine with him once I get to know him. He's just not my type of guy." Camille nodded in agreement. "Carlos and James…" I laughed. "Well, they're both sweethearts. And persistent. I have to give them that. And Kendall…he's…." I tried to search for the right word, one that would do Kendall justice but not convey my feelings (which, honestly, I wasn't too sure of right now). "…interesting." That was all I could come up with.

Camille raised her eyebrows. How is it that this chick has only known me for like, a day-a day in which, most of the time, she was in her alter ego or whatever-and she already can tell when I'm lying? I guess it's just an actress thing. "Really? Just interesting?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, he seems cool."

"So you like Kendall?"

"Just because I think someone's cool doesn't mean I like them. Carlos and James and…I guess Logan, they're all cool too. _You're_ really cool, and I am certainly not a lesbian."

"Uh-huh. Yeah." Camille, of course, wasn't buying it. "Hey, I get where you're coming from. He's really cute. I mean, I even had a crush on him when he first got here."

"Not that I'm saying I do like him, but really? _You_ liked _Kendall Knight_?"

"Yeah," she laughed in a reminiscing kind of way. "He used to be the only boy at the Palm Woods that I'd practice my auditions on."

"I assume that that's a high honor in your world."

She laughed again. "Yeah, but it was obvious after a bit that he didn't like me…I guess I was just too crazy for him. And I fell for Logan. But he started dating Jo, so it was all good."

"Jo?" I asked casually. I didn't want to seem like I cared about any ex-girlfriend, or possible current girlfriend, that Kendall could have, though I have to say this "Jo" girl was about to ruin the conversation.

Camille got a sad look on her face. "Jo Taylor…have you heard of her?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She's going to be in 'Chauncey Jackson & the Magic Gallows'. Was Rachael on New Town High. Now that I think about it, I do remember hearing something about Jo and Kendall going out a while back, though I don't really keep up with the whole celebrity couples thing."

"She is very sweet. And she's my best friend." Camille tried to look indifferent, but even her acting prowess couldn't conceal her grief. "Well…I guess was my best friend."

"Oh yeah…she had to go to New Zealand to be in that movie." Don't ask me how I know this.

"Yeah…Kendall was crushed, and completely depressed for a while…and I still think he's sad about it, though he does a very good job at hiding it. He really liked her…maybe even loved her. I knew that Jo loved _him_, she told me so. She almost told Kendall before she left, but decided against it."

"Which is probably good…I mean, you don't want to tell someone you love them before you break-up… that's hard to get over."

"Yeah…" Camille replied. "I really miss her too."

I smiled sympathetically. "Well, I _know_ I'm no Josephine Taylor, but you, Miss Roberts, have got yourself a new best friend. I mean…if you want." I didn't want to sound _too_ pushy.

Camille grinned and hugged me, and I squeezed back. _And who said making friends was hard?_

* * *

><p>I was still thinking about our conversation after Camille left around dinnertime. After our little talk about Jo, we hadn't gotten back on the topic of the guys…or, more specifically, Kendall. As I popped my Ramen noodles into a tiny pot with some water and set it on the miniature stove that I had brought with me, I couldn't help that think that maybe, you know, just maybe, she was a little…right. About me liking Kendall, that is.<p>

_You can be so stupid, Lucy._ I chastised myself. _You just got out of this bad relationship-which ended in an even worse break-up-and you already believe that you're crushing on another boy_. Though I did glance out of the corner of my eye to the potted plant that Kendall had given me, which was now the centerpiece on my coffee table. _And_, I continued the silent conversation with myself, _even if you do like him, it's not worth another heartbreak. Plus, he doesn't even want a girlfriend right now!_

Of course, if there's anyone who can help a guy get over heartbreak, it's me.

* * *

><p>It was 12:09 am, and as tired as I was, I couldn't fall asleep. I'm a total night owl, so I grabbed my leather jacket-it was a little chilly out-and decided on a walk in the Palm Woods Park, since I was feeling so restless.<p>

As I strolled along, my thoughts turned to Kendall and Camille's comments earlier. I mean, I couldn't deny anymore that I felt something for this kid. The first time I saw him, he looked so relaxed and good-looking with his shades on, and when he refused to talk to me at first I thought he was being flirtatious…until of course his friends showed up.

Then, he stood up against me (which, trust me, is not an easy thing to do) for the honor of his band, and met my challenge to show that Big Time Rush could rock head-on, which was kind of…hot. Then he just didn't stop; he wouldn't stop until he showed me that Big Time Rush really rocked. And I had to admit, he should think about wearing more black, because he looks fierce in it.

He could play guitar-pretty well, from what I saw (though, not to be stuck-up or anything, not half as good as me) and his voice wasn't all that bad either. He was laid-back (he didn't try to win me over with stupid stunts like Carlos and James-no offense to them), but determined and defiant. I knew that if he really wanted to, he could be a total badass, but I suppose he only brought out that side of him when it was necessary; plus he could be a total sweetheart. I laughed silently, thinking back to his 'housewarming gift'-though at the time he was challenging me, it was pretty damn thoughtful.

And the best part?

He didn't seem like a douche bag like my old boyfriend!

**I kind of rushed this chapter, I might re-do it…but please review anyway =D **


	3. Back At Your Door

**Aw, thank you guys so much for all the awesome reviews! And I totally agree..they would make such a cute couple, and I personally didn't like Jo either…she just seemed too….eh. I really don't know why. **

**But anyway…I can't help myself, I have to add A LITTLE Camille/logan in this fanfic…this episode just confirmed my theory that logan's character is a BUTTFACE. So, even if you don't want it…it's coming =D **

Knock-knock-knock.

_Oh, I wonder who that could be._ I muttered darkly. Who else than the boy who always seemed to end up back at my door? Who else than the idiot who had been sending me mixed messages since his very first day? Who else than Logan Mitchell, who had, in my eyes, crossed the line…again.

It's not that I'm an unreasonable person. In fact, ask anyone, I'm VERY reasonable; sometimes I'm so nice its unreasonable (uhm, did that make sense?). It takes a lot for me to get crabby. And, honestly, right now, I was over-the-top, bite-someone's-leg-off crabby.

I had forgiven him for ALL the crap that he had put me through. I had understood that he wanted to step back, even if for just a little while, after James and I had kissed- even though it killed me at the time. Though my heart shattered when I saw Peggy and him giving each other the googly eyes, I hadn't made a big scene-I figured we were officially over and carried on. It's alright for Logan to go out with different people, but when I tried to take Stephen out, Logan seemed to forget all about Peggy. Then the prom…

I admit it, I still had some feelings for him at the prom, but he went about everything the wrong way, though, once again, I completely forgave him. But what made me the angriest was that he paid no attention whatsoever to me after the prom…he was the reason Stephen and I broke up, but it wasn't even worth it. He acted like I didn't exist…up until the Meela incident.

And he comes back and takes advantage of me really getting into my role of Meela Stark! He had the nerve to blame me for the robbery, even though if it hadn't been for him, it would have never happened. Then I had to come and rescue him because he can't even think under pressure. Meela saved his butt, and all he cared about was kissing her-not kissing Camille, kissing her.

So you can imagine the storm of anger and hate that I felt when I pulled the door open to see Logan's hopeful face. I could have let it all out on him, right then and there…but I held back, and smiled sweetly and said "Hey Logan." As if every event that had occurred in the past few days-in the past few months-had never happened.

"Hey…" he retorted in his awkward voice. "So…uhm…did you ever get that Meela part?"

I clenched my first behind my back. "No, I didn't…they said they wanted someone more experienced in the art of portraying foreign spies." In reality, I had been so mad and was humiliated at what Logan had done to me that I had refused to ever get back into the character of Meela-the wig, the jacket, the glasses and the script had been thrown in a dumpster earlier yesterday, never to be seen again.

"Aw, that's horrible. You were really good as Meela!" _Yeah, really good for the part, or really good for you to kiss? _

"I know, but, well…" I shrugged, still acting nonchalant. "show business."

"Yeah…" he glanced down, his dark brown eyes nervous. "I'm really sorry about what happened with Meela." _Oh, I bet you are. _"I was stupid." _Yeah, pretty much_. "I'm really sorry." _So what else is new?_ "Will you ever forgive me?"

_NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-NEVER, NADA, NEIN, NE, NON, NO NO NO NO NO!_

I smiled back at him. "Of course."

…_._

He grinned. "So we're cool again? Camille, you're awesome!"

I unclenched my concealed right hand and reached out and shook his. "I know…and yes, we're totally cool."

"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief-as if he hadn't expected any different of me. "Do you wanna go and hang out at the pool later?"

"Sorry, I have an audition to prepare for." Which was a total lie.

"Do you need any help?" _Uhm, really? You're asking me this after what had JUST happened? _

"No, it's really not necessary for anyone to help me. But thanks for the offer." _Now go away._

"See you around Camille."

"Bye."

I closed the door as he walked away, waited a moment, then walked calmly into my room. I flung myself down on my bed, hugging my pillow and letting pools of tears cascade down my face.

And it wasn't just an act.

**For all of you who are reading this for Kendall/Lucy, don't worry, the next chapter will be about them…I think. =} Hey, it's a creative process…I never know what's coming next =D**

**So, a REALLY short chapter…sorry about that. I'm trying to keep you guys interested, but I honestly am having stupid scheduling conflicts again. I will also be hosting an Austrian Exchange Student for 3 weeks (starting oct. 6****th****), so I might not be able to post at all during that time. I'll try to get some nice chapters in before then, but please bear with me, and continue to check back frequently to see if I have anything new. =D Danke!**


	4. Teenage Anarchy

**Lol, well, I'm glad that most of you aren't getting pissed at me for adding in my lomille drama…ha, writinggames, sorry for being mean to ur favorite…honestly, I LOVE Logan, and I LOVE Camille, but for some unknown reason I hate Lomille…and since Camille is my favorite girl character, Logan has to be the villain =D **

**As promised, here is some Kendall/Lucy again.**

I stalked into the lobby, muttering darkly under my breath, a scowl taking over my facial features and probably making me look like a crazy woman. Teens pulled their friends out of the way of my path of wrath. As I stormed past the front desk, I purposely swatted at the pink roses and vase placed innocently beside the computer; the vase crashed to the floor and glass chips scattered everywhere. Mr. Bitters watched wide-eyed, not opening his fat mouth until I had passed.

"Hey you!" he sounded pissed, but I was too infuriated to deal with him.

"F*** off!" I turned around and gave him the finger before continuing toward my apartment. Now, I know that this will come back to haunt me later…but at the moment, I could've cared less about dumb old Bitters.

I don't know if he was afraid of me, or if he had just never been flipped off by a rentee and didn't know how to react, but he didn't chastise me, or follow me, or even call security to have me escorted out of the building. No, I was left to stampede in peace…until the elevator dinged right before I reached it and the boys stepped out, laughing and joking…then halting abruptly when they saw me with my flaring eyes and my I-could-seriously-kill-someone-right-now face.

"Hey, Lucy, are you-" James began to say, though I pushed right by him, bumping hard into Logan and Carlos's shoulders on purpose, and glared at them as the elevator shut and I began going up. "Okay." I heard James finish before the doors closed.

I reached my level and was about to stomp to my room…when the doors opened and Big Time Rush was standing in front of me. From the way they were huffing and puffing, I assumed they had climbed the steps to meet me here. _Assholes…can't they see I want to be left alone?_

"You know that really hurt?" Logan and Carlos were rubbing their shoulders with pouting faces.

"You want something else to hurt?" They all shook their heads. "If not, get out of my way."

They obeyed, and I thought I had gotten rid of them, until I heard their footsteps scampering after me. "If you need to talk, we're just downstairs!" Carlos called.

"Doubt it!" I fired back, slamming the door in their faces.

As I crossed my apartment to grab my guitar to release some steam, I stubbed my toe on my coffee table, which released a string of curses that I will choose not to release to the public. Once my foot had ceased throbbing, I sat on the couch and strummed my guitar in a fury of chords and notes and hardcore rock. This was how I always relaxed-my parents would always know when something was up because I would be furiously playing my guitar for an hour or more straight. These weren't songwriting moments-these moments were simply for letting the rock music into my soul, to sooth whatever strings had been bent.

Or some other crap like that.

About two hours later I put my guitar down. I had calmed down enough (or it was just the fact that my fingers were red and indented from holding down the guitar strings-I've been playing so long this usually doesn't happen anymore, but I was pressing too hard and was in some _serious_ rage) to realize I was starving after spending the day going from recording studio to recording studio, trying to land a contract or even a chance to sing for someone…and being shot down every time.

Well, all my Ramen was gone, and I had managed to pickpocket $20 from the mean security guard I 'met' today, so I headed out the door to get something from this sweet little café I had seen through my blind rage earlier. Once again, upon reaching the elevator, I was met by Big Time Rush.

"Do you guys like, LIVE in the elevator?" I asked harshly.

"She's calmer. That's a good sign." Logan observed.

"Are you kidding me?" James whispered loudly. "She's totally hot when she's on a rampage."

"You realize I can hear you?" I glared at James, but I my spirits were slowly lifting. These innocent boys were pretty funny (not to mention easy to mess with), and it was refreshing to have guy friends who didn't dye their hair black and spend their weekends getting high in alleyways. "And don't you guys have anything better to do than pester me every second of the day?" Not that I totally mind.

"We weren't coming up to see you." Kendall replied defiantly.

"Mmm-hmm. Whatcha got there Carlos?"

"It's some wings that we were bringing up for you!"

"CARLOS!" They all shouted, elbowing and slapping Carlos on the back.

I smirked. "Actually, I was just going out to eat, but since you came all the way up here just for me," I paused, batting my eyelashes, directing my comment at Kendall, who gave me a glare, "then I'd love some wings. If you guys go grab me a soda and candy from the vending machine, you can come and sit with me in the park and eat."

"OKAY!" Carlos and James sped off. Logan and Kendall lingered for an extra moment or two, wondering if they were being dooped (cause they were), then shrugged, not seeming to care, and ran after their friends.

_Boys._

* * *

><p>"So why were you so angry earlier?" Kendall questioned as we sat down and ate in the park.<p>

"Cause I had a shitty day, obviously."

"I was hoping for something more specific." Kendall retorted.

"Well, let's see, I walked all over L.A. from studio to studio, trying to find a job…and no one even wanted to hear me play or see me! I mean, I even brought my Demo CD, and offered to just leave it with them, but NO! Apparently I'm not good enough for them!"

"Welcome to L.A." Logan replied flatly. He was right of course-I knew that finding a gig here wasn't going to be easy, but, well….I get mad pretty easily. And I wasn't about to let Logan's comment go unchecked.

"That's easy for you to say." I answered calmly. "You guys already had a gig when you got here. Plus you have parents that can pay for everything. I don't have either of these things." All the boys muttered in agreement. "And, if I can't find someone to sign me on as an artist soon, my savings will run out and I'll have to get…." I paused for a dramatic effect. "A real job."

All the boys gasped, which was more dramatic than I expected. "Been there….kind of done that." Kendall smiled.

"Well, can't you get any money from your parents?" Carlos asked curiously.

"Hmm, that would be a big no."

"Why not?" Carlos asked, though James, Logan and Kendall looked uneasy about my answer, as if they knew what was coming.

"Because I hate my parents. And they hate me." It was true. Ever since I was ten and had started dying my hair crazy colors and dating guys who wore make-up, they hadn't wanted anything to do with me. Which was perfectly fine by me.

"Yeah, but I mean…they would give you money if you asked, right?" Carlos continued. I had to admit, if I had had supportive parents, he might be right. But they had never supported my dreams of becoming a rock star; they were signing me up for ballet when I wanted guitar lessons, buying me cutesy charm bracelets for my birthday and Christmas when I would have made more use of metallic nail polish or hair dye or a leather jacket….the works.

They didn't even know that I was coming to L.A. until, well, I was already on my way. _Hmm, L.A., way…unintentional rhyming there, maybe I could use this in one of my next songs?_

Uh, anyway, I had used what money I had made working at the local Walgreens (hey, it was that or the Yo-Yo-Yogurt shop) to buy my ticket. I packed my suitcase and left one day while they were both at work, though of course I left a note to explain my absence.

And now I was here.

I shook my head to answer Carlos's question. "I'm on my own out here. Of course, it's a lot better that way."

"So you don't talk to them at all?" _What was so hard about this concept of a mutual hate relationship between my parents and I that Carlos had to keep asking dumb questions?_

I snickered. "Dude, I'm 18. If I don't want to talk to my parents, I don't have to. And honestly, I really don't want to."

**SO yeah…I bet you guys liked all that Lendall fluff, right? XD (and until it becomes apparent to whether their couple name is Kucy or Lendell or whatever, that is the name I shall use =D). Yeah, I wanted to get some in this chapter, but it just didn't fit…hopefully there will be some next chapter =D Haha, get the reference to Big Time Jobs? Get it? Did ya?**

**NOTE: Though it seems that Lucy will be cursing a lot, I DO NOT APPROVE OF CURSING. It's just her character! Ya'know…just so ya know =D**


End file.
